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README.md

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+# 🧠 testosMaximus
+
+> *Infused with maximus testus energy.*
+
+testosMaximus is a TypeScript-powered nut-cracker module forged in the sacred tree hollows of fluffy vengeance.  
+Designed for one purpose: **to break things**. Like nuts. And maybe reality.
+
+---
+
+## 🌰 Usage
+
+```ts
+import { crackNut } from "testosmaximus";
+
+console.log(crackNut("pecan"));
+// → *CRACK!* The pecan has been broken by pure TypeScript violence.
+````
+
+---
+
+## 🚀 Features
+
+* ⚡ Written in TypeScript (because normal JS was too weak)
+* 💥 Cracks any nut, figuratively or literally
+* 🧪 Powered by maximus testus energy (patent pending)
+* 🐿️ Developed by a possibly overcaffeinated squirrel
+
+---
+
+## 📦 Install
+
+If you're brave enough:
+
+```bash
+npm install testosmaximus
+```
+
+Or from your private squirrel registry:
+
+```bash
+npm install --registry=http://localhost:4873 testosmaximus
+```
+
+---
+
+## 🔬 API
+
+### `crackNut(nut: string): string`
+
+Cracks the given nut and returns a glorious message of destruction.
+
+---
+
+## 🪵 License
+
+MIT – Break whatever you want. Just clean up after.
+
+---
+
+## 🐿️ Author
+
+testosMaximus, child of the forest, breaker of shells, wielded by Maximus Testus Energy™